So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
