she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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