I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
