You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
vagina is talking i cant
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
