Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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