Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
