I wish life had little blips of pornography
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
