I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
