Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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