it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
