If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
