she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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