ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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