Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Randomize
