Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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