Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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