I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
