everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
