You can't motorboat a personality
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
