we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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