I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
