my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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