My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
