So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone