HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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