Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep