We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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