D3 body, D1 cock
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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