counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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