There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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