dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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