the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
do herpes really smell.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize