i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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