A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
