I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
