Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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