Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
