I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
