she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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