As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
