My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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