Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
