"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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