batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
