she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
