ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
