I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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