There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
