It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
