You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Less talking, more tequila
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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