You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
