You can't motorboat a personality
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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