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dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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