He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
