Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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