Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
