I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
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If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
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this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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