I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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