how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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