The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
