We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
