You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
