How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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