she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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