Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize