we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
