Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
