i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
