who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
