he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
