Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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