i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I wish you could order shots online.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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